I need some brownie Cialis...

My heart has been dashed upon the sharp, yet delicately balanced, rocks of the culinary tides... I have been left to wander the empty halls, mourning the loss of the only one who could have brought me true satisfaction.

     I mean... just look at the poor beggar lying there completely limp and useless.  Not ten minutes ago he was rising nicely and full of promise!  I don't mind telling you that I was fairly drooling in anticipation of our masticatory rendezvous.  Normally I just pick up whatever I think will satisfy my needs quickly from the store but this was supposed to be special.  We had developed a real relationship!  Brought together by fate, the friendship quickly stirred and blended into something more powerful.  Something more... primal.  I even bought Crisco.  My eyes widened as I pulled him out, amazed by his dense majesty.  And then... oh, the horror... and then I watched my dreams crumble in mere moments as the possibility of our fluffy joining fell utterly flat.

I know, I know... he can't help it.  It was probably something I did, right?  *sigh*

I feel so hollow and unfulfilled...