Friday, August 2, 2013

Mommy Molding

     As I slowly waddle around, scaring the crap out of people in elevators (I can almost hear them thinking "Just please don't let her pop in here!"), I have had a lot more time to think.  I mentally map all of the closest bathrooms, just in case the grublet decides it's time to polka on my bladder.   I wonder about how life is going to change with our third edition.  I compare "then and now"... you know.. the whole pre-kids vs. post kids thing... and I have come to a couple of conclusions about who I was "then" as opposed to who I am "now".  Becoming a parent has definitely made me...

     Not in the "Naked and Afraid" kind of way (Btw, if you haven't seen that show, you should.  It will make you appreciate that we made it as a species AT ALL.  That, and the girls usually kick the guys butts.) but in the "Oh no.  I for got the wipes and her diaper is hanging so low we will have to avoid speed bumps on the way to the car.  Time to MacGyver some Wet Ones out of 2 panty liners and a week old bottle of water." kind of way.

   Not to boo-boos and nightmares, mind you, but to childless folks who tell me they are tired or talk about how their most recent vacay didn't turn out as planned.

     I made this.  That's right, folks!  This nose diving, super-blurr of knock-knock jokes and unrestrained public farts grew inside me.  I MADE PEOPLE (with Hubbs, of course)... what have YOU done for the human race lately?

Hearing Impaired
     I don't know about you guys, but I seem to have lost the ability to hear screaming and rattling around upstairs or outside until it is band-aid worthy.  It's really weird.

     ... of people who will watch my children for a night out with the Hubbs.
     ... of frozen meatballs and Prego with canned green beans.
     ... of Diaper Genies and spray on sunscreen and all those other little conveniences that make life easier               than it was 10 years ago.
     ... of lots of things I never would have even noticed B.K. (Before Kids... as opposed to A.K. - After                 Kids)

     Where does the time go?  It is speeding by, faster than time should, and now they are no longer babies.  They are little people who can dress themselves (sort of) and tell me what they want for dinner (mostly fruit snacks) and wipe their own butts (weeeeellll... kinda).  Wait!  Stop!  It's all happening too quickly!

Yup... I am a totally different person now... a better one....  :)


  1. Haha! I can relate to making wipes...I just made a diaper the other day out of a receiving blanket and a maxi pad lol. My 1 year had to sit on a garbage bag in his car seat (cuz those are a blast to take apart and put back together when they get wet). Also, I'm not a believer of childless people being 'exhausted' unless they work 100 hours a week. They don't even know what the meaning of the word is!! When you and your baby both pass out on the couch with your nightgown unbuttoned and a knocker hanging out in the middle of the day, then we'll talk about being exhausted!

    1. .... the nightgown you had on the day before... :) Yeah, not looking forward to reliving that one....