Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Good, the Bad, and the Seriously Heinous....

SO, I'm guessing you have noticed the crickets chirping and the dust settling over here on the ol' blog.  I thank you for your patience and understanding and I promise that I will be back in the saddle again soon.  Well... as soon as this small, somersaulting miracle of gravity and life decides to make her appearance... which will probably be awhile seeing as I will only be 32 weeks along this Friday.

*sigh*

I do NOT wait well....

But I digress...

It is all very "hurry up and wait" in our house right now which is why I have decided to share with you my observations on:

The Good, the Bad, and the Seriously Heinous (SH for short)

The Good:
You could eat off the baseboards in my kitchen if you so chose because I was consumed by an all encompassing obsession to make them sparkle last weekend.  Oh nesting.... how you make me crazy....
 The bad:
Other than frantic spurts of cleaning, I have no higher brain function... or energy... or drive... did I mention no higher brain function?
The SH:
I have worn a Jabba-like impression into the cushions of our comfiest couch with my considerable bulk and the chocolate cream bundt cake I bought at Publix a few days ago.  (Don't judge!)

The Good:
Hubbs has completely taken over bath time/bed time because he is AH-mazing and has been the most tolerant and helpful spouse ever....  Nary a complaint out of the man and I even get the "Do NOT pick him/her/that up!  Let me get him/her/it!  I don't want you hurting yourself." speech regularly.  I <3 him sooooo much...
The bad:
There is no way I could kneel down, bend over, or scrub orifi anyway...
The SH:
I'm like a T-Rex at this point, except it's not my arm-to-body ratio that's off, it's my arm-to-belly ratio.  Not to mention that my back would secede from the union and have me speaking in un-kid-appropriate tongues before I could even get to wiggler # 2.

The Good:
I had an fFN test done the other day and it was negative so she's good to bake for at least another 2 weeks... despite the near constant Braxton Hicks and other assorted uterine activities. (I have had pre-term and preemie issues with BOTH previous pregnancies so it was a concern.)
The Bad:
Contractions at 10 p.m.... 1 a.m.... 3:30 a.m.... *yawn*
The SH:
Pelvic effing rest.  Seriously?  Just take ALL my fun stuff away, why don't you?  No alcohol, no drugs, and now no Super-Happy-Private-Time with Hubbs?  Boo.  It's not like we were able to go all crazy and hang from the ceiling but it's all I had, damnit.

The Good:
She is growing and wiggling up a storm!
The Bad:
All that wiggling doesn't help my near constant Braxton Hicks and other assorted aches and pains... Ever heard of "crotch lightning"?  Yeah...
The SH:
She flops... I pee.

The Good:
The hair on my head is long, luxurious, and fabulous!
The Bad:
So is my leg hair and shaving my legs leaves me huffing like moose after running a marathon.
The SH:
I have one random chin hair.  EEEEK!  WTF?!?!?!  Pluck it!  PLUCK IT!  It's worse than finding a big fat tick behind your ear the morning AFTER you went hiking... ick.... *shudder*

As you can see... all the waiting isn't too bad.  It gives me the opportunity to see all the good things.... whine about the bad... and preggo cry about the SERIOUSLY HEINOUS!  ;)

5 comments:

  1. No, no, I've never heard of "crotch lightning," but I'm pretttty sure it has nothing to do with super-happy-private time.

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  2. Crotch lightning is the worst! I even has Vaginal Varicose veins and a pinched nerve in my leg.

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  3. I know. Being pregnant is like one giant science experiment. I'm glad you are able to take the ups with the seriously heinous downs. We've all been there...crotch lightning (you should trademark this term) and all! A big MWAH to you, dear!

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