1. A puking toddler is The. Saddest. Thing. Ever. EVER! All you want to do is clasp them to your bosom, stroke their hair, and tell them it will be alright... but you can't because they are covered in ralph-nasty.
2. Apparently, I have a line. See reason 1.
3. Puke in your bed once, shame on the virus. Puke in your bed twice, shame on Mommy for not getting out the blow up matress sooner. Puke in your bed thrice, well... damnit.
5. 4 was too gross. Sorry.
6. You wrestle gators naked and blindfolded? Amature! Try two kids playing gut Vesuvius after eating hot dogs for lunch. Hot. Dogs. Yeah...
7. Never assume the worst is over.
8. Never give a sick child anything you plan on eating again in the next decade. Or do, if you need an effective diet plan.
9. Doomsday Preppers may not be as nutty as I thought. I really should stockpile more towels and sheets. And carpet cleaner. And pjs. And sleep.
10. Describing in minute and gory detail all the trials and tribulations endured that troubled night to my childless buddies has been quite entertaining. For me anyway... You gotta get yer jollies somehow.
But the important thing is we all survived. Well, almost all of us. Poor Piggy.