Mom... just stop talking....

So recently I have made some serious mistakes concerning explaining the world to my curious almost 4 year old son.  In my defense, both of these... um... epic teaching moment fails occurred in the morning, on the way to school, and pre-coffee.

Explanation Mistake 1:  The Red Cross and Blood Donation

Sass:  "What's dat Mommy?  Dat red thing."
Me:  "Well, that's the symbol for the Red Cross.  They want people to donate blood to help other people that have been hurt.  Donate means "to give"."
Sass:  "Like da blood in mah bones?"
Me:  "Well... it's around your bones but yeah.  Sometimes when people get hurt really badly they bleed so much they may need some new blood so the Red Cross gives it to them in the hospital."
Sass:  "How do dey do dat?"
Me:  *Crap*  "They sick small needles into healthy peoples arms and store it in bags.  *Yeek! Distract!  Distract!*  They have a really big bus, too!"
Sass:  *sing-songy and repeated over and over again* "Dey take your blood!  Da blood in your bones!"
Me:  *Yup... this ended about as well as I thought it would.*  *sigh*

Note to teacher:  I tried to explain blood donation and failed miserably.  You know the drill...



Explanation Mistake 2:  Rain

Sass:  "Da clouds bump together and play too hard and then dey go BOOM!"
Me:  "That's right.  And that's thunder."
Sass:  "Where did all the colors go?"
Me:  "What colors?"
Sass:  "Da ones in the sky!"
Me:  "Well, they sky is all grey because it's going to rain.  The clouds are all heavy with rain water and turn grey when they are full.  The blue sky is hiding behind them."
Sass:  "How did dey get full of rain?"
Me:  "Well, they drink it in like you drink water and when they get too full..."  *my inner "quit while you're ahead" alarm totally failed me on this one.  It was like watching a crash in slow motion....*
Sass:  "Dey pee!  Da clouds pee!"
Me:  "Not exactly..." *desperately trying to backpedal*
Sass:  "Da clouds pee on us!  Dey rain pee!"

Note to teacher:  I'm just... really... I.... Oh god.....