Now THAT'S just going too far....

My children's school is being "Audited" today.  What this really means is they are getting their yearly observation out of the way.  Having worked at a preschool in college, I know how nerve wracking an observation session can be.  A stranger sits in your room for HOURS , not saying a word.  They aren't allowed to interact with the children in any way.  They just sit there and silently judge.  It's terrible.  But a necessary evil, no?

So, I'm thinking "They've so got this!  That place rocks!  I mean, I wish I could hang out there all day." because we love this school.  They truly care about our children and take the good days right in stride with the bad.  They believe in play and dirt and a damn good time with a dash of good old "sit and listen" time.  In teacher speak that's learning through play and teacher led learning. *yawn*  Now let's all go eat worms.....

So anyway, I was all like "They've SO got this!" and they do.  But then they posted the criteria they were being judged on.  There were the normal bits like:

- toys and books that are age appropriate
- hand washing and proper sanitization
- nobody requires too many stitches (oh no, wait... that's just mine...)

All very important... but then I saw this, "They will also watch each time a child sneezes, coughs, touches their noses, ect. and the teacher can only miss having the child wash their hands 25% of those times.  They will measure the mats at nap time to make sure they are three feet apart and the children lay head to toe."

Wha?

This has gotten ridiculous!   Oh ... I feel bad for the teachers, considering Hubbs and I dropped off two avid nose pickers who flop and roll in their sleep like marbles dropped on a linoleum floor.

I am all for some semblance of germ control but this... this is just stupid.  You can only miss 25% of the time?  1/4 of all picks, rubs, smears, hacks and ker-choos?  Most kids think shirt sleeves and forearms are tissues (wait... they aren't?) and it's ALLERGY SEASON.  I see soap-chapped hands in their futures.

And the mats?  Head to toe?  Who cares as long as the little wigglers get some sleep?  Besides, if it's a safety thing, then they are S.O.L because, with the way Sass Monkey goes down, somebody will get a velcro Spiderman to the face anyway.  When he naps with me, I still get toes in my kidneys and we have a  king sized bed.  Not to mention the fact that Sprinkles treats her crib like a pinball machine and she's going full tilt.

I am sure these rules exist for a reason... just not a very good reason.  Like a crazy,over-protective, reactionary parent reason.  These over-the-top required criteria put undo stress on teachers who don't deserve it and don't need it.  These are the teachers who have helped Sprinkles get over her crippling fear of strangers.  In fact, she runs to them and hugs them in the mornings, completely forgetting that both Hubbs and I exist.  These are the teachers who say things like "Well, he went through a range of emotions today." and laugh about it because they are superheros with a patience made of something WAY stronger than steel. (Btw, "range of emotions" is code for "Mommy probably would have already sold you to the gypsies." which means Sass must have been absolutely UNHINGED.)  These teachers are saints in matching polos and auditor, if you can't see that, then you need to find something else that gets you a paycheck.  Something that doesn't require common sense or the ability to pay attention.  Like McDonalds (and I can say that because I have worked there).

So rock on you wonderful zoo keepers, you!  I want you to know that, despite what that little checklist looks for, what really matters is your devotion to our future inmates policy writers, decision makers, and rulers of the free world.  We see what you do and are in awe of you.  Thank you for helping to make our children the wonderful little people they are... we couldn't have done it without you!