Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Wild Life

Things you do NOT want to find in your car:

1.  Sippy Cup Cheese
2.  Unwashed and heavily used hockey gear
3.  One of these...
The Carolina Wren.  Small bird, big attitude.  They are my favorite.

     Not only had the pissy, feathered scourge crapped all over my dashboard, but I didn't even notice she was in there until we had pulled out of the driveway and were on our way to dance class.  In a terrifying burst of birdy rage (fear) she attacked the window right next to poor Sprinkles head, causing hysteria and future therapy bills for a debilitating Bird Phobia.

     How did she get IN the car in the first place, you ask?  A clicker on a key chain got bumped somehow and the evil avian was in.  It was Nature and Tech working together in one cruel prank like some psyche-scarring Stephen King novel come to life. 

And now I'm off to scrape vengeful bird shit off the inside of my minivan.....

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

OMG! It's been, like, forever!

     It's been a while hasn't it?  I'm like one of those nasty rashes that keeps showing up every few months just to remind you that I still can...  :)  But seriously, the reasons are as follows:

1.  I became a SAHM for three kids and ya'll... it took some adjustment.  A lot of adjustment.  Like, I'm still adjusting to the adjustment, kind of adjustment.

2.  The Holiday Cluster F*ck.  Yeah, you know what I mean.

3.  I got a stomach bug and felt "poorly" for an ungawdly long time.  I also lost 20 lbs.  No, it wasn't a tape worm... it was a hidden gift from above.  ;)

4.  My 3 year old developed a taste for Taylor Swift and I was held at pout-point and forced to memorize all the lyrics to "Shake It Off".  (Okay... not technically a reason but it sure effing feels like an eternity when you are listening to THATDAMNSONG for the 4,563 time... that morning.  That kind of pain should be reserved for enemies of the state and people who ring the door bell during nap time).

5.  I started a business (see #1).

     It's #5 that has brought me crawling back, you see.  My happy little corner of the economic world is called Moon Shine Suds & Such and I am one proud momma.  I make children's Treasure Soaps which are clear glycerin soaps in various shapes and seasonal incarnations with little toys on the inside.
These are little owl bracelets.

These are rings with jewels.

And then there are these little loveys.

And don't forget the dudes...

And these little soaps I call Bath Gems.
(I compensated my model with mac-n-cheese and a soap of her choosing.)

     I started selling at a local Farmer's Market and you know what?  I did okay.  Better than okay... I did well.  I learned a lot about how I have a lot to learn and it was really, really fun.  

     So, the focus of the blog may change a bit in the coming months.  I just wanted to warn you... but I hope you'll stick with me.  I'm not trying to sell you anything but this new chapter is too good to keep to myself... just like my little heathens.  :)  And don't you worry!  I'll be sure to put in all the good bits so they can Google themselves and hate me as soon as I give them access to an unrestricted computer... which will be when they are 20.  There are some crazy folks out there, ya know?  No need to find out that Mommy is one of them.... yet.