This post
is written in response to the "Follow
The Sentence Friday Blog Hop (FTSF #2) hosted by Janine @ Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic and Kate @ Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time and co-hosted by Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real and Jen @ JenJen’s Soapbox of Parodies. Check these ladies out for a good time.... (No... not like that....) and peruse those in the hop who have bared their souls for your amusement. Good times, good times....
I took a Public Speaking course in college. (Kind of has
that "I had a farm in Africa..." feel doesn't it? No?
Well....) Why did I do this, you ask? Because I had to but I
also had to take Badminton so none of it really made any sense anyway. (Shuttle
Cock, anyone?)
Anyhoo...
let's cut to the “One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was…”
part...
Long story
short, I had to give a 5 minute speech on something that I can't for the life
of me remember now. I had agonized over this particular project for
weeks so the morning of, as you can imagine, I was petrified. I
would have to stand up in-front of a classroom filled to the brim with my peers
and sound intelligent, well put together, and even throw in a joke or
two... SO I armored myself and prepared for battle in the best way a 22
year old girl knows how. I dressed fancy.
Generously supporting undergarments, my favorite sparkly shirt to
further enhance my... em... more noticeable attributes. Maybe
they would be so entranced by my genetic abnormalities (I come from a
family of modestly chested women. My chi-chi's were a freak of nature...
and a back problem.) that my class mates would completely ignore the fact that I sucked.
I chose a particularly sexy pair of tiny see-through, iridescent thongs to wear to match under my best butt-shaping pants. (Yeah... I know... But this was WAY before the body-breakers made their appearance) I added some substantial heels, my favorite lipstick, and I headed
to class. How could I fail? I was 5 feet in 6
inch stilettos of pure fury and dead sexy!
Guess what guys... it wasn't the shoes that brought me low!
This time, anyway....
I got to class,
waited my turn, and gave my presentation. As walked back to take my seat, I was beaming. "Well, THAT wasn't so bad! I was great!
They laughed at my jokes and I really kept everyone's attention. I
am getting an "A" for this!"... and then I took my seat and
looked down to see....
...my zipper....
.... undone.....
And my
little, iridescent, see-through thongs winking up at
me conspiratorially....
Oh.... NOOOOOOOOOOO!
No wonder I kept their attention.
So, "One of the most embarrassing things I
ever did was…" give a 5 minute presentation with my zipper down in
see-through underwear to a room full of 20-somethings.
End.
Horrifying! It's a wonder you didn't start bawling right there at your desk. It's a good thing many of your classmates were probably still drunk or hungover from the night before and were unable to focus on your shimmery undergarments...or lackthereof ;) Also, you sounded dead-sexy to me!
ReplyDeleteStrangely enough the ... um... trauma of the incident kinda killed my public speaking fear. I was all like "Well, I have now hit rock bottom. I can only keep my zipper up from here"...
DeleteAnd I was very sexy, thank-you. :)
DeleteYou had me at thong and chi-chis lol. I could have been a lot worse though, keep telling yourself that.
ReplyDeleteYou'er right... I could have been wearing see-through underwear after NOT manicuring my lawn... Like a bear in a fishing net... *shudder*
DeleteLoved your story and could relate to this. I, too, had to give a speech back in college and it wasn't my clothing that got me. I had been not feeling well that day and hadn't eaten, because I was truly nauseous the whole day before the speech. In true fashion, I got up to give my speech and got about 30 seconds through, when I fainted dead away. When I came to, I found out one of my guy classmates had caught me before I completely hit the deck or floor, lol!! Thankfully my teacher took pity on me and actually looked through all my notes and such for the speech and gave me a "B" and never had to do the speech again. On a side, I had been dating someone in the class and you guessed it he wasn't the one to catch me or even try to catch me. Needless to say, I dumped him shortly after. Thank you seriously for linking up and loved your addition. Hope to see you back next week!!
ReplyDeleteYeek! No no fainting... you poor thing! A "B" ain't bad, either. :)
DeleteOMG! TOTALLY EMBARRASSING!!! I hate to give any kind of speech - I would have cried. Totally. So glad you linked up!!!
ReplyDeleteIt definitely made check my zipper religiously.... :)
DeleteWell, the bright side of it was that no one probably noticed any speecha mistakes you made...and you probably impressed people, for sure ;)!! :D
ReplyDeleteHeh... oh yeah... I good with impressions like that. Luckily I didn't have any other classes with anyone in that room....
DeleteAnd it wasn't even Thong Thursday! Aww, I bet that was awful! I suppose college is the time to get all that embarrassing stuff over with, huh? I was going to say at least you weren't going commando but am wrestling with what was worse here. ;-) Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteDid you get the "A?" :) You sound like my long, lost sister in embarrassment! :)
ReplyDelete