Thursday, January 3, 2013

Tantrum Gris-Gris bag anyone?

     Sprinkles threw her first big girl fit last night and folks, we be f*cked.  The other-worldly rage noises that gurgled out of my sweet baby girl made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.  Lemme tell ya how it went down...

     Sprinkles was down for the night and all the racket I was making while wrestling an errant stalk of celery from the garbage disposal must have woken her up.  (Just so you know...  Me - 1  Garbage Disposal - 0.)  She began to cry.  Okay.  Normal so far.  Hubbs and I gave her a second to fall back asleep, but the crying just got louder... and then it began to take on this... tone.  What before had been merely the whine of a startled child became this groaning roar... it was like tires squealing on hot asphalt mixed with sounds that I have only heard coming from an enraged sow.  (My Daddy was a pig farmer... don't judge, ya'll.)

   We bolt upstairs (certain we would find her battling a rabid wolverine or some other beast because there was NO WAY a human could actually make those noises) to find her writhing around in her crib, beating her pudgy little fists into the mattress with her sweet little mouth set into the hard rictus of her first feral snarl.  Ummm... THIS first will NOT be going in her baby book.  Hubbs and I could only stand there, shocked, while considering whether or not to draw straws to see who would stick their hand into the tiger cage first.  Hubbs lost anyway.  (He is so brave.)  As he reached in to pull her out, the "growling" only intensified in volume and in ferocity.  Nervous sweat broke out on his brow as he attempted to pull her close, foolishly exposing his unprotected neck to her sharp little teeth.  But the snuggling only made the flailing worse so we all sat on the floor and I tried to placate her with sippy full of milk.  My measly offering of milk only further angered the demon now living in my child and she began to crawl around the room on all fours while periodically throwing her self to the floor, kicking anything within reach, and attempting to skewer Mommy and Daddy with a gaze full of malice and half-sleep.  This was one mad 15 month old.  Hubbs and I could only sit and stare as the full implications of her behavior sunk in.  Wow... Sass really wasn't that bad.  Who knew?  And, oh sh*t, one day she would be 2.... and then 3.  *groan*  And then... no... no... don't think about puberty....

   She eventually wore herself out enough to be cornered (Does Wal-Mart sell tranquilizer darts?), placed back in her cage crib, and soothed back into her human form now soggy with her tantrum tears.  As Hubbs and I trudged back downstairs, we could only look at each other and fear for the future.....


Yeah... one of these with extra mojo please!


17 comments:

  1. Sounds like sprinkles was not fully awake. Mine have done that, screaming they want their mommy while I am holding them. Awake enough to scream not awake enough to understand what's going on or to act like themselves

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    1. We wondered if that wasn't what was going on and we thought rolling around on old Berber would shock her out of it but no... She must have been REALLY gone...

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  2. I can't help but giggle going through your posts. What an honest un-sugar coated portrayal of life. Go get a beer Mama, you most definately deserve one!!!

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    1. :) I've never really been one for sweet... I prefer the salty. :) Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Oh, this should DEFINITELY go in the baby book ;) I like to keep ours brutally honest. I'm hoping to read it to him in his teen years to really scare him away from girls for a while ;) Also, please keep me posted on whether or not they sell those darts at Wal-Mart. We need a stockpile!

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    1. I should have taken video but we were so freaked out by all her strange noises that I just didn't think about it.

      We need to find a place that sells those things in BULK!

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  4. Hi! I’m your newest follower. Please stop by and say hi when you have a chance. I'm also hosting a blog hop - if you would like to join us :) Hope you're having an awesome week.

    April from:
    A Mommy's Blog Design http://amblogdesign.com

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  5. Hi Synnove, I’m Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (http://annesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com), and I’m visiting from the “You Like Me!” Blog Hop.

    Wow. Just wow. You are in for a ride. Though I have to say (and this is coming from a Mom of six beasts), you WILL Survive. One of my kids would periodically become possessed in the manner in which you've described, and now she is a charming, beautiful, 15 yr old honor student. That's not to say she doesn't still become possessed now and then, but that's just hormomes and we all know to lay low for a couple days, so we've learned to deal.

    Anyway, thanks for the laugh! If you’ve never visited yet, I hope you can pop by my blog sometime to say hi…

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    1. You give me hope that this behavior doesn't indicate an extended stay in a facility with razor wire on all the perimeter fences... :)

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  6. Thanks for the laugh! God knows I've felt that way a time or two.

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  7. Yikes! I remember those day's. Glad their over! Just stopping over from the blog hop to admire your blog. Following you on Twitter and Facebook! If you have a moment to visit my blog and follow back that would be wonderful!
    Thanks!
    Katie ~ http://dysfunctionsjunction.com

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  8. Ha! Can you dial up some of that extra mojo for me too? And seriously, how do these little girls screech that loudly?! Love the new look of your blog, Synnove, thanks for linking up with the #MTMmixer, and I think you're fantastic :)

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    1. :) Thanks! I think you are a heap-o-the special m'self... :)

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  9. I remember those days with our grandson... Happy New Year wishes and thank you for sharing at the hop. I hope you will stop by again soon. I posted the new giveaway! xo

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