Monday, April 15, 2013

I am tired Level Orange...

     Ya'll.... I do think I may have been run over by a Mac-Truck....  My agency  plans one major conference a year and guess what?  It was last weekend...but I survived (barely) and now things can go back to what I consider normal (but what DCS may consider unsafe.)

     I would also like to report that the conference went well and everything thing that I was in charge of went smoothly.  I met tons of great folks and learned a lot about lots of things... some of these things I thought I would share with you.

1.  Ladies... our badassery know no bounds.  Back-to-back 14 hour days of meeting, greeting, schmoozing  and assisting while 2 months preggo and morning sick and nobody ends up with urp on their shoes?  Yeah.... I am a pastry-shaped-effing-superhero.  We all are... because we are Moms who get shit done.

2.  My husband is a better parent than I am.  My 4 days alone with the kids and everyone is a cranky mess, the house smells like a blown-up diaper, and I am begging for death's sweet, sweet release.  His 4 days alone with the kids and everyone is happy, the house is relatively clean, and the laundry is done.  Way to make me look bad, Hubbs....

3.  Becoming a parent has ruined me on quiet, comfy hotel rooms.  Ya'll know.... quiet is bad.  When the house is quiet... something is getting drowned in the toilet, smeared on the walls, or dropped down a vent.  I spent 3 nights waking up every 30 minutes because it was TOO DAMN QUIET and my subconscious knew that something, somewhere was going down.

4.  If you wear a polo in hotel, folks in suits wearing fancy cologne with think you are staff.  Even when you have your agency's logo emblazoned in bright colors across your boobs.  No, I do NOT know where room 736 is or when the bar closes...  Do I really look like I need a drink?  Wait... maybe I do?

5.  Hotel food will eff you up.  Like, Oh Gawd I had better get this over with before the room attendant gets in here to straighten thing up, otherwise they are going to think I murdered a skunk slowly in here.

So these are some of the things I learned this long.... long weekend.  I apologize for being absent last week but I promise to get back to my regularly scheduled programming.....


  1. LOVE this post! It's great! And I know what you mean about it being too quiet in a hotel room when you are by yourself and used to noises in the night. I went to my best friends wedding last year without my daughter and I hardly slept at all. So frustrating!
    New follower via GFC, Bloglovin', FB and Twitter from the MHO Monday Mingle!
    Christine @ Musings of a Single Mama

  2. You missed the opportunity to mess with people by giving completely bogus and otherwise inaccurate information to the boneheads assuming you were staff. You could have had FUN with that one....

  3. I like Dyanne's idea, I would have totally sent them on a wild goose chase, but I've been told I'm just evil like that. I like to think of it as creative genius.

    And I live for those quiet times! :) Great post and welcome back!

    Found you via "I Don't Like Mondays" Blog Hop. :D

  4. Yep hotel food is the worst. My job involves setting up events, often corporate stuff, so I have seen some horror stories in the kitchens and docks of these places.

    Bast advice I have? Eat out of the vending machines.