Monday, June 17, 2013

4 going on 14

     Sass Monkey is... well... is going through A PHASE.  *cue ominous music*  I can safely say I hate this phase.  Passionately.  I don't hate my Sass, of course, but d*mn boy... cut that sh*t out.  The problem is, despite the lack of any body hair growth or voice cracking, my big, blue-eyed boy thinks he is an Axe-Body-Spray-wearing, zit-popping, honest-to-gawd teenager.  This phase comes complete with eye rolling, ignoring my very existence, and "Duh, Mom.".  Here is an example of a typical conversation:

Me:  "Don't use the furniture as a jungle gym, Monkey Boy."
Sass:  *continues to swing/jump/chew on the arm of the couch as if I haven't spoken*
Me:  "Sass, quit it.  Get off the couch."
Sass:  *more ignoring*
Me:  "I said get off the couch!" *snatching ensues*


Sass:  "You forgot my milk, Mom."
Me:  "I didn't forget it.  I'm getting it right now."
Sass:  "I'm thirsty.  I want some milk, Mom!"
Me:  "I am pouring it right now.  Use your eyes, please."
Sass:  "Well, Duh." *eye roll*
Me: *more snatching ensues*

He also liberally applies "Seriously?" and "I told you!" to his everyday beratement conversation..  Grrrrr....  This little Napoleon is just itchin' for his Waterloo.

     I will admit to a shorter fuse due to hormones and general pregnancy exhaustion, but come ON, little man!  You just had to skip ages 5-13 and go straight to teenager with a wish for certain irreparable bodily harm?  But why?  Even Daddy has had enough... and he has WAY more patience than I do.  Dude... just.... Please?

Sass Monkey the Dictator Barbarian


  1. LOL! I feel you, I had a girl like that. At 4 she got a haircut she didn't like and announced that I ruined her life! My goodness! How much of a life does a 4 year old have! The bright note it, it does get better and when you look back it's great for a few laughs.

  2. You think a 4 going on 14 BOY is bad? Mwahahahaha! Just wait till you have a 4 going on 14 GIRL in the house. You might want to start ordering catalogs for convent schools right now.

  3. I can feel your pain and sympathize for 3 year old is currently going through the same phase so e of his favorites are "you don't have to scream at me" and "I don't want to" of course there is eye rolling and "duh" as well of course he has a teen brother and pre teen sister so his attitude can be killer... I hope he snaps out of it soon ... I wish us both luck lol