Monday, March 18, 2013

Can we talk...

... about vomit?

You see, it has been on my mind a bit lately and I just thought we could... you know.... chat.

Because, as a mom, this is what I have been reduced to conversation-wise....  :)


     Lately, it has been my productive eructations that have mostly been of concern to me...  Oh Gawd... someone is toasting bread... *gag*  Eww, the baby farted... *retch*  Nooo!  Sunlight!  *urp*  (You get the picture.) but Sass put me to shame this past Friday around midnight by unleashing his pent up Dino Nuggets and peas with great gusto all over the floor and the back of his bedroom door.  Poor guy.  Enter stomach bug stage left.  While I cuddled a miserable Monkey on the couch, Hubbs tightened his belt and trudged upstairs like the true man of action that he is, armed with nothing more than a bottle of cleaner, some heavy duty paper towels, and a plastic Publix bag.  It is easy to love a man when he brings you flowers or holds your hand in public, but nothing is more amazingly sexy than one who will walk up the stairs into that digestive hell with no questions asked.  I swear.... if I wasn't already knocked up....

     While Hubbs was otherwise occupied with the enemy, I taught Sass how to prop himself up against the toilet and retch with minimum spray and maximum comfort.  It's a useful skill he will thank me for in college.  He made me so proud.... he got it all in the bowl and everything....  He is so grown up.....

Yeah.... not this cute 

a cloud puking a rainbow by shadowfoxgraphics.
                                                                        Shadowfox Graphics

15 comments:

  1. Yeah this motherhood deal is *so* not glamorous. I'll be pretty stoked when I reach a point in my life where I'm only responsible for my own bodily fluids.

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  2. While we're oversharing and all, I'll tell you that my son yakked up vegetable soup when he was about two wherein it was CLEARLY obvious that the kid swallowed everything whole without chewing. My husband, bless his heart, cleaned up the bed while I cleaned up the kid, and had to RINSE THE SHEETS IN THE KITCHEN SINK AND TURN ON THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL AFTERWARDS. You're correct, that kind of guy is a keeper.

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  3. Yup he's a keeper. And Dyanne, there is nothing worse than having to wash vomit chunks down the drain before thowing stuff in the washer....ewwwwwwwww

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    1. The smell and fear of TOUCHING IT is just as bad as the chunks. I have found that wearing latex gloves and putting a smear of Mentholatum under your nose (funeral director trick) makes alllll the difference when cleaning up. ESPECIALLY if it's not your kid. (I teach preschool. Barf sometimes happens.)

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    2. Can't you just shake it out in the yard for the dogs? Beagles will eat ANYTHING!

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  4. Gah!!! Vomiting. Just as bad as pooping accidents. Oh yeah, your Hubs is a keeper since he has no fear of cleaning up the yuck. I just hope your little monkey is feeling much better now!

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  5. The art of puking properly is definitely an important one! Well done, Mama! And Sass! The picture of the rainbow puke is hilarious...let's find a way to make it more like that!!

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    1. It would totally be acceptable to puke rainbows... and maybe glitter....

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  6. His college roommates will thank you.

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  7. poor baby!! And, you too!! Yup, that will be useful in college! I remember this one girl whose hair I had to hold back while she retched into the bowl....otherwise, she would have had to wash it the next day!! :P

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    Replies
    1. You were a good friend to do that.... most people would just point and laugh.... ;)

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