Once more down the rabbit hole...

     Hey guess what!  I'm able to eat!  Supa-plus!  Okay... I am able to eat spinach, crab cakes, pickles, chili beans,  grapes aaaaand that's about it but I can eat so Whoot!  (Yeah, I know.  I don't get it either.)  I have also started having those moments where I say to myself  "Oh yeah.  I remember this symptom and I don't like this one." but I am sure there are a ton more of those in my future... Because... well... I'm just going to admit this to you guys early on.... I am absolute sh*t at being pregnant.  I love the end result with it's wiggling and intoxicating head fragrance but the growing part.... not my fav.

     To all you women that are like "I love being pregnant and isn't it wonderful that I get to carry the baby and this is the ultimate in woman-ness.." I say I hate you.  Because I am jealous.  There.  It's out.  I .  Am.  Jealous.  Maybe you are living in the far off land of De Nile or maybe it really is fun for you, I dunno... but damnit it I just can't drink your kool-aid.  It's all aching back, gas, peeing every 30 seconds, and boob sweat for me.  (Sexy, nons?)  And you natural childbirth folks.... yeah.... I don't get you either.  I mean, go you with yourself and your personal choices, but I always get pitocin-ed and there is no WAY I am riding that pain encrusted pony without protection.... like opiates.

Warning:  the follow may and will probably offend someone....
And btw, if I don't get a merit badge for sitting still while they stick a needle in my spine then you don't get one for going without one.  Let's all wave our "I had a baby flags!" not our "Well, I had a baby THIS way!" flags.

We are not Sneeches parked on the beaches.  

It's really no matter who has stars upon thars...

*Oh Dr. Suess.... you had it so right!*

     One of the main issues is with my pupation is I am stoooooopid short with NO waist and I have gargantuan babies.  I am a perfect storm of probably-would-have-been-culled-from-the-herd-100-years-ago.   In fact, at my first OB appointment after I became pregnant with Sass, my Dr. reached in, hit my pelvis and said "Boy you are small!".  Not something a girl wants to hear.  (Despite saying this, this Dr. turned out to be the most amazing OB ever and I miss him and have e-mailed him to beg him to move to Nashvegas... no dice.)  So yeah... a hot mess of "We may have to surgically re-attach a bunch of your innards once this is over."

Buuuuttt... maybe this pregnancy will be different....
   
- Maybe I will spontaneously grow 6 inches?
   
- Maybe I won't grow a baby beluga intent on joining the circus as the next new tumbling act?
   
- Maybe my body will finally get on board and just accept its punishment lot in life and stop with the hemmies, round ligament nonsense, acne, sore milk bags, narcolepsy, and Braxton-Hicks that eff with my blood pressure for 3 months?

*I think I heard a derisive snort coming from my uterus on the last one.*

     One thing I AM looking forward to (other than the sweet wiggler that doesn't like it when Mommy sleeps) is the fact that this will be the first pregnancy where Hubbs isn't studying for and/or taking a BAR exam (Once in SC.... then we moved.... and all over again in TN). He won't feel pulled in two different directions (which was really, REALLY hard on him) and I will have some excellent help 24/7.  He actually said "I think we should try and relax and enjoy this pregnancy."  Isn't that sweet?  It is, really... even though I laughed a little on the inside.  Having his full attention and his adept ability to wrangle the other two heathen beasts while I bake on 450 for 9 moths will be the awesome-est of awesomes.

Heh... ask me if I'm "enjoying" it around August, my love....  ;)