Thursday, March 21, 2013

Monkey Musings

The night before the digestive eruptions started:
Sass:  "Mom, I have thpiderth in my tummy."  *looks at me like an abused Precious Moments figurine*
Me: "What are the spiders doing?"
Sass:  "thpinning webth."  *moans and clutches his tummy*
Me:  *Lightbulb!*  "Are they doing this?"  *wiggle my fingers like skittering spider legs*
Sass:  "Uh huh."  *practically oozing abject misery*
Me:  "Oh honey, your tummy is all gurgley and upset...."

In the car last night:
Sass: *random rambling conversation with himself involving monsters, what's for dinner, and other people's yards*
Me: "Honey, how many people do you have living in your head?"
Sass: "Sixth."
Me:  "Sounds about right."
Sass:  "A lot, Mom.  A LOT, a lot..."

This one just about broke my heart.
We had just seen one of those commercials for the nanny/baby-sitting/pet-sitting websites:
Sass:  "We would need a DOG sitter, Mommy.  Because we have dogs."  *triumphant grin*
Me:  "That's right.  But no cat sitter?"
Sass:  "We had a cat Mommy!"
Me:  "We did.  Do you remember Cephalie?  Do you remember what color she was?"  *Ceph was 2 months shy of 18 when she passed last year.  She was  was born on my bedroom floor right before my very eyes when I was 16.  She was the most difficult, persnickety, and beloved cat to ever walk this earth.  I miss her terribly.  She is buried at our old house next to her brother who died 16 years before.*
Sass:  "She was black and white."
Me:  "That's right!  It's nice that you remember her."
Sass:  *eyes wide*  "Oh no!  We left her at the old houth!"
Me:  *physical heart pain* "Oh honey, she... she died.  We had to bury her there, but she is with her brother so I think she is happy."
Sass:  *looks at me like he isn't quite happy with my answer*  "Okay Mommy."

Upon being told he was going to get another sibling:
Sass:  *looks hard at my tummy and lifts my shirt*  "Where ith it, Mom?  I can't thee it!"
Me:  "Well, it's growing in my tummy so you won't be able to see it for a while.  You will see my tummy grow though, just like with sissy."
Sass:  *lays on the floor and tries to look up my nightgown*
Me:  "Good try, honey.  But that won't work either.  And don't look up people skirts..."

The next morning:
Sass:  *pointing at my stomach*  "Where's the black thpot, Mom?  Is it out?"
Me:  *I had showed him his ultrasound photo a few days before and so now he thinks all babies look like "black spots" when they are on the inside*  "Oh honey, you are going to have to wait longer than that..."


  1. ADORABLE. As a mother dealing with speech delays, I love that you write his lisp <3

    1. I LOVE his lisp! I know that eventually it will disappear (like most of the ones in my family...we be rife with childhood speech impediments...) but it is just so sweet!

  2. I love preschoolers and their quirky speech! I teach pre-k in the mornings and once had a 5 year old girl who announced during "Q" week that she knew a word that started with "Q" - "Cwayon!" She's 16 now and I've never forgotten it!

    1. I love how they are always convinced they are absolutely right... :)

  3. lol!!! I can imagine him trying to look for his new baby up your skirt! Adorable!!

  4. Oh, so sweet. It's amazing that the onset of stomach flu can be such a precious moment. That's kids for you. Sorry about your cat. And the name of your blog is hilarious!

    1. Thanks! We now refer to all tummy upsets as "Spider Tummies". :)

  5. giggle...Thank you for sharing and joining in the fun at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop xo

  6. Aww, so sweet! I love to hear their conversations at this age. And I especially loved that you captured his pronunciation! I need to write down more conversations between me and my kids so I can reflect on them when the kids become teenagers (pains in the asses).

    1. Remember that they were cute once as a defense... I like it!

  7. My son's kindergarten teacher is expecting, and so is his big brother's wife, so he's full of these kinds of questions too. :)

    I'm visiting today from Deezy's link up. :)

    1. I just can't figure out why his next attempt was to look up my skirt... he's a strange one.

  8. As a Speech-Language Pathologist (in training!) I love that you write his lisp so well. It really helps me "see" him saying these things to you :)

    1. I want to get these things down now because I can see he is loosing the lisp. It's soooooo cute but probably wouldn't help him in kindergarten.... ;)

  9. Awwww!
    Thank you for stopping by Deezy Does It!
    New follower!
    Dont forget to come back every week to link up and sign up for the give-a-way :-)

  10. OK, I'm liking this Sass kid. A Lot.

    Thanks for linking this up with the TALU!