Fighting a losing battle…

     Last night, while “helping” me transfer some Mums to pots, Sass Monkey decided it would be a grand idea to go feral.  One moment he was enthusiastically shoveling dirt into a pot with a small hand-trowel and the next waging an all out terra cotta assault.  Sass Monkey – 1, Pot - 0.  While chucking his shrieking  little bum inside to then become his daddy’s problem before I did something horrible (like plant him up to his neck in potting soil) I thought, “Why do I always act so surprised when one of my little wigglers decides to commit decoration-icide?”.   Like when Sprinkles decided that the fall leaf garlands would look much better in her mouth than on the entertainment center or when Sass Monkey thought the Christmas tree ornaments made such a delightful crunching noise when they hit the ground at launching speed.  Sometimes I feel like I am losing the battle for civilization.  Is their perfect world decorated with crayon cave drawings, sticks from the back yard, and bits of tissue from an unguarded Kleenex box like the den of some Neolithic rodent?  Would they rather sleep in a pile of laundry than an artfully decorated bed complete with matching comforter, sheets, and sham?  Would they rather bathe in muddy puddles than in a freshly sanitized bathtub with a cute little froggy shower curtain?  Hells yes they would.   And besides, a good case of worms makes everything more interesting, right?  *sigh*

     So, I guess it is my job to help civilize them.  Scary, considering I love nothing better than a good fart joke and a surprise mooning attack.  It’s up to my hubby, then?  But I caught him teaching them the “Burp Gun” maneuver at the dinner table the other night... 

  Poor little beggers don’t have a chance….