Friday, September 14, 2012

Birthday... Bliss?

Let the magic, sparkly, fantastic birthday countdown begin!  It’s T-minus two weeks and counting till the balloon and frosting encrusted eructation of Sprinkels's, ALL HALLOWED BE HER NAME, first birthday party!    Let the insanity… BEGIN!  

Lets see... I’ll need:

Cupcakes – Oh gawd.  I need a theme.  I need a theme!  What does she like… um… measuring spoons?  No.  Shoes….  Nah.  She only likes those for their flavor and consistency. Besides, she prefers flip flops and where would I find a "Summer Beach Party" theme at this time of year?  Could I do a “Dust Bunny and Dead Flies” theme because she is always excited to find those.  Nothing too fancy, I guess, as she is just going to go Gollum on them anyway.

"Give us the Cupcakes, my precious.  We wants them... We wants them..."

Decorations – Must go with theme.  Crap.  Those little Target Owls are cute but I doubt she would know what they are.  Those would SOOOOO be for Mommy.  Ug... no Dora.  I detest Dora.  WHY IS EVERYTHING F*CK!NG DORA?!?!?!?  Dora makes me want to stop eating Mexican food… which is serious because I could EAT MY OWN WEIGHT in chorizo.  Lady bugs?  Well… she does like to eat them….

Party food – Yeek!  Okay, here's the ish.  Half of my family is allergic to beef.  Not just “Ride home with the windows down” allergic either, like, hamburger = ambulance ride to the ER, kind of allergic.  Cows could kill a b*tch in my genetic area code.  Okay… hot dogs?  The pork and chicken ones shouldn't prove too deadly… I hope.  Note to self: Get Epi-Pens.  And put Vanderbilt on speed dial.

Presents – Plastic bugs?

*sigh*  I should have started planning in July....

No comments:

Post a Comment