As B-Day approaches, (Sprinkles T-minus 1 and counting!) I have continued to feverishly comb the internet for “The Perfect Birthday Gift” for my baby girl (as if she won’t just throw the toy to the side after happily shredding the wrapping paper) and I have made some… disturbing discoveries.
1. They can AND WILL put crystals on anything and everything. For example,
Yeah, it’s what it looks like. A crystal studded, portable, poop case for potty training. Now, I know Sprinkels isn’t quite ready for this kind of thing (or this level of bat sh*t) but I just had to share. I know… there are no words… Oh, and it’s a total steal for around $1,100.
2. Every kid loves a play house. Every parent loves a play hous, too.... until you realize it is really a luxury Creepy Crawly Hotel that you paid to put in your back yard…. But the kids love it and how many of those spiders are ACTUALLY poisonous? Right? Ahem… Well, wasps and spiders wouldn’t have a chance in this custom-built, air-conditioned, New England-style cottage complete with running water and plumbing….
... for only $54,000.
3. How about a $900 “ride-on” stuffed Pegasus? Oh yeah… they’ve got one. A really creepy one… It's "life-size" or whatever THAT means.
It’s the eyes… they’re all beady….
4. This was designed by an artist… for children to actually PLAY with. The $25,000 price tag doesn’t even include the therapy the kids would need after playing with a bunch of armless, blank-eyed Barbie dolls with metal poles shoved through their shoulder sockets… FAO FAIL. BTW, I think Charlie Sheen bought one...
After these few financially challenged diversionary discoveries I am a little afraid to keep looking. Although, after seeing these, I don’t really feel quite so bad about whipping out the cash for a little Melissa & Doug, you know?