The level of my obsession/love for the books The Hobbit and LOTR is frightening. I am borderline bat-sh*t on this and the first step to recovery is realizing you have a problem, right? Having been raised on the books I am a bit of what I would call a "Tolkien Purist" but what others might call "Oh Gawd! Do NOT bring up the Ents... especially in public." Apparently, I can be a little embarrassing ...
I had a few issues with the LOTR movies (I still own the entire boxed set complete with HOURS of extras) and have been trepidatiously awaiting "The Hobbit". I've been reading the rumor sights and looking at all the pictures that are beginning to dribble out and I thought sexy dwarves were going to be the worst thing I had to deal with... until Hubs showed me this...
Oh, Denny's... "Hobbit Slam"? "Seed cakes and Shire Sausage"? "Radagast’s Red Velvet Pancake Puppies"? I.... But.... Why, Denny's? Why? And what the f*ck is a "Pancake Puppy"?
It's like my breakfast choices are roadkill or Hobbit Porn. I feel like I need to go wash my eyes out or something. Keep your Shire Sausage away from me! I am a married woman, you know! Slamming Hobbits... ewwww....
Other menu items include:
Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet (Oh... no.....)
Bilbo’s Berry Smoothie (Not his BERRIES!)
Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (Can you put Purell on your brain?)
Hobbit Hole Skillet (A coma sounds really good right about now...)
Oh, and there's more. There's this...
AAAAAaaaaannnd this....
And dearsweetjeezusmakeitstop.......
This is almost as bad as seeing Frodo's nipples in ROTK. Ack! Nooooooo! Hobbit's don't have nipples! I need to go sit in a closet, curl into the fetal position, rock, and cry. (Though not as damaging as having my Hubs, then boyfriend, set up Harry Potter in a full frontal photo from "Equus" as my "surprise screensaver". He's a keeper, that one.)
So... happy Friday. I guess... *shudder*
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