Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Your Board becomes you...

DISCLAIMER:  If you like uncomfortable furniture, skinny jeans, or are a hippy and love everybody for reals.... stop reading now.

     Let me start by saying that I LOVE PINTEREST!  It was instrumental in helping hubby and I choose and entire house’s worth of paint colors IN 5 DAYS, some of the recipes are halfway decent, and I have found some things that I desperately want…
It just makes me laugh....

In short, it’s faboo.  In long, well, you know when you get on, and someone with an obscure, dark, and artsy moniker has posted photos like this….

Wha?  Why...? Huh?

And this…
Just... no.  No!

And on and on and on… (make it stop)

Well, I know we could never be friends, and that is judgy buuuuut I’m cool with it.  They get the *Mom sigh* and I wonder who raised them.  I am pretty sure they would think I was raised in a barn by redneck coyotes, my only companions a bale of hay and some cranky field mice, with a rusty nail for a pacifier.  They would be wrong.  I never had a pacifier.  Maybe I'm wrong about them too?  Nah.  And besides, if you put yer snooty sh*t out fer all us mouth breathers to peruse, you hafta expect to have us pass a little judgment, eh?

Judgment 1:   Picture after picture of dudes in skinny jeans.  
     Having spent some time in the deep south I have developed an extreme aversion to clothing that clings and doesn't breathe.  This just CAN'T be healthy for their boys and it makes me despair for the next generation’s fertility rate.  I know, I know.  Ya'll can make new cowboys but honey, you put a tarp over crabgrass and it’s still gonna die eventually… and grow fungus.
You can almost hear them screaming from here... 

Judgement 2:   Pictures of furniture you are trying to pass off as art.
     I know… poor me.  I just don't get it.  But, some of those “couches” look about as comfortable as a bed of nails.  Not cool.  It's supposed to eventually be for your butt.  If I wanted to sit on something hard and scratchy I would go to the bus station and sit on a hobo.  At least then I might get some interesting conversation.
That looks "pap smear" comfortable AND it's ugly.

Jugement 3:   This.  
     What the?  I mean, c’mon!  Nothing says tasteful like a fake, grey, pressboard deer head mounted over your bed.  Or anywhere, for that matter.
This is what you get AFTER the screaming in your skinny jeans stops.

Judgment 4:   DIY ideas that seem like good ideas but are really bad ones.
     Note the kids boots on there.  Do you really think 2 cookie sheets full of colorful stones would remain unmolested (or digested) in any space occupied by anyone under the age of 18 for any length of time?  Me neither.  It's cute, right?  Cute like an ER bill.....
DIY Choking Hazard.

     So, I judge.  A lot.  And I expect to be judged by my pins in return.  It's nature and it's natural, I suppose.  Chimpanzees judge other chimpanzees by their actions, looks, and I'm sure they would judge each others Boards if they had wi-fi in the jungle. The difference is they either drive away or eliminate those who are deemed different, weak, or unsatisfactory.  We have to let them be, free to reproduce (if their skinny jeans will let them), and call them "hipsters".  :)


  1. Amen to the choking hazard! I saw that and thought the same thing. And I'm giggling out loud over the bag you pictured at the top--too funny!

    1. There are a lot of people without children posting these DIYs on Pinterest...

      Glad you enjoyed it! :)

  2. Hahaha! I happen to be skinny jean loving and a little hippy dippy, but I still was totally amused by this post.

    1. :) I am a total hypocrite. I also own one pair myself. :) You are a brilliant woman with and excellent sense of humor...