Monday, November 5, 2012

The Art of Post-Mastication

Alicia Silverstone ain't got nuthin’ on me.    And this is why….
     My family (or more specifically my Grandparents) own a cabin and some land about an hour from our house.  During the Fall and Winter, scores of my family descend upon its wooden walls and proceed to eat, drink, and kill deer (while meticulously recording any and all data concerning wind speed, number of deer seen that day, what direction the squirrels were farting, etc…  We are conservationists, not just killers.).  This past Saturday was the beginning of Muzzleloader season so swarm we did!  Now, this is no regular “Smells like men and gunpowder” hunting cabin, mind you.  What started out small so many, many years ago has slowly creaked and GROWN into a backwoods resort of sorts that has been painstakingly furnished and decorated by my Grandma in the most fantastic of Woodsy-Couture styles.  It has two full bathrooms, tons of bedrooms, a full kitchen, huge dining area… and cable!  Can’t miss the football games just because we are holed up in BFE!  Anyway, I love this place and I digress.  On to why I just accidentally made Alicia Silverstone look normal…..

     Meals are always prepared in groups.  This way, no one has to stray too far from the liquor stationed religiously on the end of the kitchen island.  As dinner was being prepared on Saturday night, a storm blew through strong enough to knock out the power.  No oven?  No problem! The world’s largest charcoal grill lives on the back porch!  Oil lamps were lit, cinnamon whiskey was liberally applied, and the dinner prep continued.  The most faboo of hash brown casseroles was mixed up and spiced with cayenne pepper… in the dark.  Needless to say, it was a bit on the spicy side and just how we liked it!

     The power eventually came back on, dishes were cooked, and we all sat down and tucked in.  It was delicious!  Sprinkles had no trouble with the burn in the casserole as it was mostly potatoes and cheese and she will not be denied her starches!  Sass didn't eat  his casserole because he is thoroughly entrenched in his “ I'm not going to eat that because it is not one of my 4 approved flavors and didn’t you get the memo?” phase so, after both pans of the gooey deliciousness were empty, I finished his.  *burp*

     On the way home that night, with both kids comatose passed out in the back, I mentioned to Hubbs that “It’s too bad Sass didn't like the hash brown casserole.  I thought it would be right up his alley.  Maybe he didn't like the spice?”  And then I remembered… he had tried it.  He had even chewed a bite for a moment… right before he spit it out onto his plate and loudly declared “I don't want this Momma!”  Wait… did I eat ALL of his casserole?  Even the… huh…. Yeah, I did.


Wow... and I thought chewing food for your kid was over the top....

What’s worse?  The fact that I ate post-masticated little boy leavings or the fact that it didn't bother me that I did?  

I do love fresh SEE-food...


  1. I love you because you are the only other person in the world who uses BFE in a sentence. You are my hero! And thanks to your family for controlling the deer population. You should come to Iowa, we grow em REALLY big up here.

    1. Ooooo! I have heard ya'll have some tasty ones up there. Btw, the Deer Report from BFE has just come in and someone got a buck this morning. Yum!