"Indecent Proposals" or "The Homebody Explanation"

In the living room one Saturday:
*Hubbs and I walk in and find dear Sprinks red-faced and elbow deep in her diaper*
Hubbs: "Well... as long as she isn't mining for Mud Nuggets..."  *looks thoughtful*  "Can you pan for those?"


At dinner last night:
Sass: *to "Row, row, row your boat"*
"Bats, bats, bats, bats
Spooky Halloween!
Bats dey fly.  Spooky, Spooky!
Bats, bats, bats... AIRPLANE!"
*Hubbs and I collapse in uncontrollable fits vowing to end every sentence with "AIRPLANE!"*
Sass:  *looks irritated* "Don laugh!  Airplane bats!  I said AIRPLANE BATS!"


Explaining his extended absence:
Hubbs: "It was a P.L.O.P.  You know, a Post-Lunch Office Poop."


Family trip to Target:
Sass:  *looks up at the sign advertising a new line of undies in the lingerie department*
"Hey!  Dere's boobth on der!" *Hops off the cart and bee-lines for a neon yellow demi cup with sparkles*
"Dis is for boobth, Dad!"  *big smile*
Me:  "Oh he is SO your son...."


During a Sprinkles fit over being told she could NOT do something at the table:
*Sprinkles begins grabbing handfuls of her cereal and throwing it to the floor in a fit of pure toddler rage*
Hubbs:   *calmly turns and looks at me* "I have seen you metaphorically throw your cheerios..."


A couple of nights ago:
Sass:  "Mom!  Mom!"  *runs toward me with a disturbed look on his face and something clutched tightly between his index  finger and thumb*  
"Look Mom!" *shoves a crusty, bloody booger into my hand*
"I've got raisins in my nose!"  *he bolts*
Me: *speechless and nauseous at the same time while Hubbs laughs so hard he's silent (that's REALLY hard)*