Wednesday, February 27, 2013

No really... Who Am I?

Tag!   I'm it!  The lovely Ms. Dina Marie of  A Plucky Procrastinator (she is double boiled chocolate awesome-sauce and you should really check her out) tagged me on the book the other day and I was all like... well... I'm not sure WHO I am.  Maybe these questions will help?  We'll see......


1.  WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  B.F.E. KY... not the lube, fools.


2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?  It's an old family name from the mother country so totally applicable today.  Way to go Dad.

3. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE? 2... I think.  They just won't stop moving long enough to count and they make enough mess for at least a baker's dozen worth of folks....

4. HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?  2 dogs... not kids right?  Because they both smell a little....

5. YOUR WORST INJURY?  It really is too early in the day to talk about my perineum so... I have a giant scar on my back from a teething toddler classmate.  It has grown as I have grown and now is just waiting for it's inevitable surgical removal.  Maybe I can have a two-fer... my scar and Fred, my golf ball-sized uterine cyst?

6. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?  I can work my children's bowel movements into any conversation.  I'm magic like that.

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?  Kielbasa and potatoes....

8. FAVORITE FAST FOOD?  Burger King Whopper w/ Cheeze!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?  There are sooooo many other good ways to die......

10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?   Assholes... not the actual ones... just if they are one or not.

11. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  My son whines and cries enough for all of us.....

12. ANY CURRENT WORRIES?  Bail or college fund?

13. NAME 3 DRINKS YOU DRINK REGULARLY.  Coffee with cream (no sugar), unsweet tea, and more unsweet tea.  I despise sugar in my libations and cannot abide plain water.

14. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?  LOTR... and if you don't know, I can't help you.

15. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?  Hmmmmm... trapped on a boat for weeks at a time with a bunch of hygiene challenged men who are absolutely riddled with syphilis....  I'm going to say no.

16. FAVORITE SMELLS?  Newborn hair, freshly turned earth, and lemon Lysol.

17. WHY DO YOU BLOG?  So no one dies.  It's a catharsis of sorts....

18. WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?  I will not be put in the ground.  Instead, I would like to be burned on a pyre after all my useful parts have been donated so, I guess no music.  Afterwards I want all my loved ones to have a huge party with tons of good food and effective drinks and for them to tell scathing and titillating lies about me....

19. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?  That I have no least favorite things.  Things are or they aren't.  Self-deprecating humor is not always truth.  It's an equalizer. (Okay... THAT sounded way more uppity than I intended.  What I meant was, I don't have the time nor the inclination to hate all the wiggly streched out bits on myself.  My children love me whole and my husband loves me absolutely .. why should they be wrong?)

20. FAVORITE HOBBY?  I get to have hobbies?  But I have kids....

21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?  A nice ass.  That goes for you too, ladies.

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO.  Work for the man... and like it.  :)

23. FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO?  Sleep, nap, and relax.  In that order.  They are in such short supply these days....

24. ANY PET PEEVES?  Doomsday Preppers.  The actual folks, not the show.  That's just silly.  If there really is a zombie apocalypse, a world wide power outage, or a nuclear disaster do you really think a hole in the ground and 80 cases of Tofu Jambalaya and canned green beans are going to save you?  Really?

25. WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?  My Hubbs at lunch.  He said some funny things about spicy, moist chicken balls....


27 comments:

  1. Thank you for including me, I LOVE when people invite me to join in the fun. A few weeks ago when this first started, another friend tagged me and I wrote a post that was, well, sort of my unorthodox (meaning I changed it, A LOT) version of this. Hope you enjoy it: http://www.bakinginatornado.com/2013/02/there-was-fb-before-i-joined.html

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  2. A nice ass. HA! That's awesome. You're so funny.... Thanks for including me with this group of fabulous ladies! xox
    Tracy @ Momaical

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    1. ;) It's an important attribute. :) Just wanted to say "Thanks for being awesome!"

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  3. EMERRGERRRD!!!! I love ya too, but I'm gonna bow out of this! I did a tag post earlier and I think the public is tired of reading about me on my blog! :P

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    1. Finally got around to it! Check it out: http://www.bigaandlittlea.com/2013/02/awards-and-apologies.html

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  4. HA HA! I totally loved this challenge. Here's the one I did. Thanks for tagging me!

    http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/they-dont-know-that-we-know-they-know-we-know-about-the-sadder-but-wiser-girl/

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  5. Haha I just did this post a few weeks ago when Karen @ Baking In A Tornado tagged me! But I appreciate you asking me to play--I had a lot of fun when I blogged my answers to these same questions!

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  6. "It really is too early in the day to talk about my perineum so..." Um, how can I become the president of your fan club? You're awesome, Synnove! Thanks for this!

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    1. I would get a fan club... with minions? I would hate to be responsible for leading anyone down such a dark and twisted path of wrong.... ;)

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  7. Thanks for thinking of me, friend! Sorry I don't post these but here are my answers!

    1. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? B.F.E. IL Seriously, it was me and a couple of cornfields for 17 years.


    2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE? Nope. My parents just didn't want to name me Jennifer and have everyone call me Jenny.

    3. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE? (your answer was perfect) 2... I think. They just won't stop moving long enough to count and they make enough mess for at least a baker's dozen worth of folks....

    4. HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE? Just Fatty

    5. YOUR WORST INJURY? Car accident when I was 19 (You only have one and its the size of a golf ball? LUCKY!)

    6. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can drink copious amounts of tequila and not vomit. Does that count?

    7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE? Cookies

    8. FAVORITE FAST FOOD? Taco Bell

    9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? YES!

    10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Clothes, but only in a coveting way. I have snot and spit up on everything.

    11. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week.

    12. ANY CURRENT WORRIES? Going on a trip to mexico with a girl with fake boobies when mine look tiny and sad.

    13. NAME 3 DRINKS YOU DRINK REGULARLY. Water, milk, wine.

    14. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? The Glass Castle maybe? I have a lot.

    15. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE? Who on earth would want to do that?

    16. FAVORITE SMELLS? Anything but poop, my god i have to smell a lot of poop.

    17. WHY DO YOU BLOG? To help other people not feel alone in being a mom/life fail.

    18. WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL? Fire and Rain

    19. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? (Yep.) That I have no least favorite things. Things are or they aren't. Self-deprecating humor is not always truth. It's an equalizer. (Okay... THAT sounded way more uppity than I intended. What I meant was, I don't have the time nor the inclination to hate all the wiggly streched out bits on myself. My children love me whole and my husband loves me absolutely .. why should they be wrong?)

    20. FAVORITE HOBBY? Drinking wine. Alone. When the kids are asleep. And running.

    21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND? A sense of humor and strong tolerance for booze.

    22. NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO. Had kids. Twice.

    23. FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO? Drink, run, dance. Repeat.

    24. ANY PET PEEVES? Gwyneth

    25. WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH? Reading about your husband's balls.

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    Replies
    1. 1. Ick. Corn fields. I lived in NE for a while and have never been the same.
      5. I know. Fred is such a tissue hog.
      6. Yesss......
      16. It gets to the point where you can tell whose it is and what they ate. Not good.
      20. I may take this up.
      21. Done!
      25. Balls ARE just funny....

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    2. 20. The running, the drinking, or both? :)

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    3. Oh gawd... just the drinking. We Scandahoovians are NOT built for running. It would just be TRAGIC!

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  8. LOVE your answers!!! Thanks for including me! You crack me up!!!

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  9. Thank you for stopping at my blog today. I enjoyed reading your responses to the questions. Tweeted this and have a great Wednesday! :D

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  10. I love your blog title! So funny!

    I found your blog through the confessions link up. I lived in Knoxville for 5 years!! Whoop whoop TN!

    I'm a new follower and blogger! stop by sometime!

    http://fabsingletequila.blogspot.ca

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  11. You have a giant bite scar from a teething toddler? Crap. That's some bite. I wouldn't want to be a pirate either. All that scurvy and crap - no thanks.

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  12. I'm glad to know I am not the only one who can work my daughter's bowel movements into every day conversation. We should probably have a support group.

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